OVERCAST

Its been a couple of days since that hug. The world succumbed to darkness.

It’s always been my responsibility to protect both of you from things that could hurt you. I should’ve never let one of them be me. I always tried to keep to myself. I didn’t want to burden you with any of my problems. I wanted you to keep thinking I’m strong. But this is different. I killed our brother. I know he wanted to hurt me. It got worse with every single day, I knew it, I knew it, but it kept coming back, the anxiety kept screaming in my ears. It was relentless.

I tried to ignore it. It was like a force pressing down my chest. Crushing me. I was fine with not taking deep breaths, but soon, I couldn’t breathe at all. But I should’ve known better.

You’re not listening… are you? Of course not. You got here early. You’re already gone

They told me I’ll be the last one to go.

Casually seeing you around now… pains me.

I’ve always had to take care of both of you. One of you is dead, which is why it cuts so deeply I couldn’t save the other. The way you look at me… it’s as if I'm looking at a ghost.

You always buried your pain deep in your eyes.

I see none of it now.

I see nothing.

Its almost… insulting.

This walking husk that was once my little brother is insulting.

You’re disgusting.

And yet, I’ll become just like you. Very... very soon. And all for the sake of our survival. The “greater good".

There are so many things I want to tell you. So many more sins to confess. So many more interests to share. And now, you don’t even know who I am. It must’ve been the same for the others, too. The same kind of pain. Mourning someone while having them stand right in front of you. It's messing with my head. How many others has this taken a toll on? Doesn’t matter. All that pain is gone now. It withered away along with everything else these people were. As far as the world is concerned, it never even existed in the first place. Right now, I’m one of the few ones who know. But just like autumn leaves, my memory will be winded away. Even though my body will remain, I will not. There will be no heaven for me.

Wait.

Something just… occurred to me.

This is an opportunity. I’ll have a second chance to save you. You may be different. I may be different. But I must redeem myself. I must make sure that my soul will find peace. Some day.

I’m scared.

I want to see my family alive and well again.

Just one more time.

Guess this is it.

Goodbye.

Welcome the new world order.